Classic Military Sexism

Never let the military try to do anything. How can you show the women of America that you don't respect them at all and think they're inferior on every level? Leave it to the airforce.

Fair and Balanced

Oh Time magazine, you so funny. NOW KIDS CAN YOU PICK OUT THE BIAS IN THESE PAGES? HMMM. THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU THINK. BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT J.J. ABRAMS MOVIE!?

Crack The Shell, Pull The Strings

Back in the day, I've discovered this by the way, there used to be ads for just like, ideas? Concepts and things. Not like today when you see an ad for eggs from the egg council, I mean like there's an ad I posted here for "brand names", just for "brand names", urging you to buy them.

This is an ad for ads. I just crashed the internet. Think about that. AN AD FOR ADS!

It's pretty scary when you read it, it's like, "Here is how we get you, see how we got you? Hire us to get others for you."

Scary Then, Hilarious Now!

Really, you were freaking out about privacy before the internet? Oh America of 50 years ago, you are adorable. Also, you gotta love Hammermill's ad campaign, "BE AFRAID! BE ANGRY! JUST BE WRITING ON OUR PAPER!"

Time To Play, Is This Racist?

Did you guess yes? You're right. I think. I don't know!

A Hero We Didn't Deserve

Remember kids, a life spent fighting for the little man will only get you ostracized and demonized by the threatened powers that be! Sell out! Buy in! And maybe they'll name an airport after you!

Majority Vote Bombardiring

I know it scanned crooked, forgive me, it was super hot last night when I was doing the scans and I didn't have the patience to reset. Also, holy shit peoples have some cuh-ray-zee ideas when it comes to how to kill each other.

STALIN'S DAUGHTER IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN WISCONSIN

Seriously. I just checked her wikipedia page.

Sex Tax

What else is there to say?

Tar And Feather Me I'm Irish

Yikes.

Unmistakable

What I like about this ad is the way that they use a dude who, for all intents and purposes, is no one you'd know or recognize, but with whose job title is supposed to impress you enough to buy their scotch. I also like the combination Jackie Gleason/Scotch marketing in the campaign.

Is There Any Point?

You gotta love this ad. Why would you want to spend money on anything other than defense?

Seven Nation Army

Lockheed. More Nations Like Our Weapons.

Protect Ya Neck

What starts off sounding like an ad for becoming a shareholder in a company quickly becomes an ad for protecting yourself against shareholders. Awesome.

One In Three Youths Will Knife You For Crack Money

Hilarious. The terror and fear the old guard will always display when faced with anything remotely youthful or different. Not that junkies are good, but the quoted statistic is a little funny. I also know that I'm being haughty future guy, with the internet and cable news everyone knows about crazed meth heads, I can imagine 40 years ago, you'd have to be a little more, I don't know, uninformed about drugs. Still, fairly funny ad.

All Natural, American Radiation

You don't like Nuclear Power? Why? It's safe and natural and awesome and American and...matronly I guess, and can cook and is fat. Huzzah for propaganda!

Blacks Can Be Funny

The more old Time magazines you read, the better you understand the rage of a people and the anger of a time. Where the entire cast of Roawn & Martin dressing up in Black Face is progressive and better treatment of blacks on television. The Smothers Brothers are on point, these other shows, especially The Carol Burnett sketch, Supernegro, sound particularly, what's a nice word for backwards and ignorant?

Dupont Catching Criminals?

That sounds a little backwards. Dupont, when we're done poisoning the world, we'll study the videotape.

Africa, 1955

Just chop it up and call it what you want, show up, plant your flags, says it's yours. Human History baby, people pushing people around, building a base, saying God said so, take take take. My American History course I'm taking right now has severely jaded me toward the structure and development of the modern world.

MARK TWAIN YOU FUCKING SELL OUT!

I believed in you man! No, but seriously, how do you keep people from using you in advertising after you die?

For All The Venture Brothers Fans Out There

Consider your career in science!

OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN YOU FUCKING SELL OUT!

Now I don't know what to believe in. Hammerstein shilling for big dictaphone.

Allegheny Metal, I Am Disappoint

One of those things thats so mind blowingly offensive, you don't know what to get upset about first.

Coolest Canadian Religious Fanatics Ever

If you don't like whats going on in your country, get naked and burn everybody's houses down.

Classic Misogyny.

The lazy alcoholic and his subservient, docile wife. Hey baby, get me a drink and you know what, consider yourself approved for getting one for yourself as well.

Bellies Full or Bellyfull?

Hammermill Bond, fanning the fires, wanting you to get involved in the welfare debate, as long as you use their paper. From 1971. Do you think the government should help the poor or really help the poor? YOU CHOOSE AMERICANS OF 1971! And from judging by the world around us, you let us down 1971, what the fuck.